"I'm all about breast cancer awareness, but I'm not about exploiting survivors."
When I visibly had cancer and was going through treatment (ya know: bald, pale, distant look in my eyes), I had several folks ask if and assume that I had breast cancer. I always thought that was weird, and I was a little offended by it. I mean, I joined the club no one wants to be a part of—please get my registration right. Also... women get other types of cancers, too?
Do you want to know what I think caused that assumption? People are comfortable with talking about breast cancer because, in our society, we can cover something in pink, slap a sticker on it that says, "save the ta-tas," and call it support.
There, I said it.
As a non-breast cancer survivor cancer survivor, woman, and granddaughter of a woman who gave breast cancer what-for, I have a few thoughts on Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please keep in mind that I'm typing this blog with fingers covered in sparkly, pink nail polish. I'm all about breast cancer awareness, but I'm not about exploiting survivors.
I really do love Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I don't remember much about my nanny's healing journey, but I do remember the shock, seeing the pain she experienced after surgery or treatment, and experiencing the love of her community as she overcame cancer. It was heartbreaking to watch, but the love poured over her was beautiful. So, every October I try to do something special for her, and always, always get my nails painted pink like she does. It fills me with such great joy to see people rally together for a common cause, so yes—the pink jerseys at football games, special events for survivors, and the platforms created to talk about breast cancer all warm my heart. I love it. But unfortunately, companies have diluted that organic unity to make an extra buck.
This brings me to my first and biggest criticism of this month: Pink washing is pitiful. Companies are leveraging a deadly, life-altering disease to pad their pockets. Sure, some companies donate to research and non-profit organizations, and I celebrate that. Research and community are critical. But please be careful what companies you throw money at this month. Please. And if you want to buy products that support breast cancer survivors, consider buying from small businesses that have a direct partnership with non-profits, like Rosebud's Tees. While you're at it, consider investing in those non-profits directly. I received support from the Rural Gone Urban Foundation and cosign on any and all support you can offer this incredible Foundation. Just be thoughtful, folks.
My next point is going to sting a little bit, but this needs to be said. Breast Cancer Awareness Month—or any cancer awareness initiative for that matter—can put unintentional pressure on survivors to be anything but themselves. They aren't just moms, sisters, friends, co-workers or wives anymore. They become:
Warriors
Champions
Superheros
Soldiers
Fighters
Lucky
(and my favorite) Inspirations
Yes, I've been given all these labels, but the cancer I had isn't as (for lack of a better word) mainstream and understood as breast cancer—so I have never experienced the echo chamber of voices that breast cancer survivors have. And let me be clear: Encouragement should never be punished, and I was always thankful for the well-intended compliments. But there are some better ways to label and encourage cancer survivors that don't make them feel like they have to be anything other than human and themselves. I would venture to say that most survivors don't want to be any of the things listed above. They just want to be normal.
Instead of heaping on confusing labels and unattainable standards of being a cancer survivor, this month I would encourage you to use these words and phrases as you spread awareness of breast cancer:
Overcomer
Comeback; i.e., "You're making a powerful comeback."
Perseverance
"Even when you don't think you're strong, you are."
Celebrate
"You handled cancer with grace and grit."
"How can I celebrate you?"
Rebuilding; i.e., "The life you are rebuilding is beautiful."
Renewal
Restoration
Refuge
Peace
"You are more than a cancer survivor."
And finally... "You did the impossible." Brooke Taylor, founder of the Rural Gone Urban Foundation, said this to me, and it was the greatest compliment I have ever received. Because yeah—surviving getting pumped with deadly chemicals for six months to fight off an equally deadly disease is nearly impossible.
Breast cancer survivors are just out here livin'. Let's celebrate that first and foremost because it turns out that just livin' is a little hard for some of us.
Don your pink. Share social media posts. Love on a survivor in your life. But remember that breast cancer isn't soft and pretty like the color we cover it in. There's a lot of pain in every breast cancer survivor's history. Hear their stories. Mourn their losses. Celebrate their wins. Happy Pink Month.
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