"When something bad happens, you may be in shock for just a few seconds or it may last for weeks. Either way, enjoy it. Seriously. Because it will wear off, and it's going to suck."
It took me a long time to tell people I had cancer, but in the very early stages of my diagnosis, I told a select group of trusted people of faith I knew would knock on God's door on my behalf. I knew these folks would get straight to work. One of them gave me a call shortly after he found out and shared some needed truth.
"God gives us the gift of shock," he said.
I didn't realize it at the time, but at that moment, I was in absolute shock. And yeah, it was a gift. I took that time to share the news with my close friends and family, tie up some loose ends, pray, and get my mind right. When something bad happens, you may be in shock for just a few seconds or it may last for weeks. Either way, enjoy it. Seriously. Because it will wear off, and it's going to suck.
My shock wore off the day before our annual Friendsgiving. I spent the day cleaning and was incredibly tired. That evening, my sweet, sweet boyfriend said something to me that wasn't so sweet, and I was INCHES from going berserk. Instead of popping my top, I decided to take a shower, cool off, and clean up for the evening. I turned on the shower but didn't get in. I just stared at the showerhead. Then the levee broke. I fell to my knees and cried and screamed and prayed and asked God why. I wasn't mad that I had cancer. I was upset that I got angry at someone I love over NOTHING because I was mad that I had cancer. I was probably on the floor for about 15 minutes having my little Days of Our Lives episode. That's the first lesson I learned about shock wearing off. You have to release the pain. You have to let all that built-up emotion flow out of you. And you have to do it by yourself. Yes, your loved ones can (and should!) help you process your bad situation. But at some point, you have to face your emotions alone because it's your problem, not anyone else's. If you don't process what's going on, it'll bite you in the butt later. Trust me. As much as your loved ones want to stick by your side and walk through the valley with you, you have to come to terms with your demons on your own.
So, I had my fit. Then a small, still voice (y'all know who that is) told me to get my butt up. You really shouldn't ignore that voice, by the way. So, I got up, washed up, and joined my boyfriend for a dinner he cooked for us—that sweet boyfriend I was ready to give a black eye about an hour earlier. Bless his heart. And that's the final lesson I learned about shock wearing off: It marks the moment you have to get moving. When you wake up from that period of shock, GET UP! Start tackling that problem. It may take you a while, and you may have bad days, but that is okay. Start rebuilding that relationship. Make that hard phone call. See the doctor. Make a plan to pay off that debt. Ask for help. Do something. God rewards the brave, and he certainly rewards the motivated. I like to think of faith as a verb: If you want God to move, you will have to do some movin' yourself.
I really do miss that phase of shock, but remaining in shock is unfruitful. Welcome reality back as a friend because when the shock wears off, that means you're one step closer to crushing your problems.
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